Overcoming the Temptation to Gossip
We’ve covered a lot of ground over the last 4 lessons! I pray you’ve been challenged, as well as encouraged, during our time together 🙂 However, I know the battle against gossip will be ongoing. There will be times we will be very tempted to engage in it! In this last lesson we’ll discuss how to overcome this temptation when it rears its ugly head.
Of course, we can’t talk about fighting temptation without talking about self-control. Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broke into and left without walls.” That’s a serious statement! A lack of self-control leaves us vulnerable, able to be defeated by enemies. Without self-control, we easily slip into the tendency to gossip. But here’s the ironic thing about self-control: we can’t produce it ourselves- at least, not to the degree to which it’s truly needed. Here’s what I mean. As humans, we have some capacity for self-control. But self-reliance only gets us so far! What’s really needed is the self-control that is produced by the Holy Spirit. In Galatians 5:22-23, the Apostle Paul lists the 9 fruits of the Spirit, among which is self-control.
The fruit of the Spirit is produced in us as we abide in the word of God and commune with Him in prayer. As we do this, our hearts, minds, and desires are changed to match those of our Heavenly Father. This is the work of the Spirit! It’s his role to transform us into the image of Christ. And did you know that we can pray for this?! I often pray that God will continue to sanctify me by His word and by His Spirit. I even pray to the Holy Spirit, asking him to produce fruit in me! This means that in prayer, we can ask him for self-control.
I don’t know about you, but knowing that I can’t, in my own strength, have the self-control to overcome gossip is freeing! To be sure, true freedom is found when we rely on the Lord. Why? Because when we rely on the Lord for the fruit of self-control we can be confident that He will impart this to us. As Luke 11:13 says, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” We can also pray Psalm 141:3, asking the Spirit to set a guard over our mouths: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” What a wonderful way to pray!
Another way we can guard our mouths is to ask for accountability. This can be a scary step, but trust me, it’s the wise way to go! Letting someone we trust know our struggles is a blessing- in fact, it’s one of the reasons God gave us the body of Christ! As brothers and sisters in Christ we are called to carry one another’s burdens and to rebuke one another in love.
We need each other to keep living out the Lord’s commands! By asking someone to keep you accountable with your speech, you’re giving them permission to regularly ask you about this part of your life- and to gently correct you if they hear you gossiping. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Holding one another accountable is one of the best ways we can sharpen each other. So don’t wait! Take the step to seek accountability today.
Finally, I wanted to take a minute to talk about the difference between sharing our burdens with a friend and gossiping. This can be a tricky business! Of course, we lean on our friends and count on them to help us navigate difficult times in life. And yet, during these conversations we have to be aware of a few things. One is our motivation for sharing. Is what we’re sharing for the purpose of putting someone down or for getting our friend to dislike who we’re talking about? If so, it’s gossip. However, if our motivation is to gain clarity and perspective, then we’re most likely on the right track.
Another aspect to consider is how many details we share. Our trusted friend doesn’t need to know every detail of a situation in order to give us some helpful guidance. Evaluate the main points of what you want to communicate and commit to leaving the details of the person’s actions to a minimum. Even if someone has wronged you, there’s a way to talk about it while still demonstrating respect for that person. Remember, we show love for our enemies and others when we choose to not air their dirty laundry. As Proverbs 10:12 says, “Love covers a multitude of sins.”
Reflection:
Knowing that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit encouraged us to abide in the Word and prayer. How do you feel about your time in the Word and prayer now? What would you like to change?
Reflecting on motivation and details helps us know whether or not we’re gossiping. In light of this, how might this change when/how you talk to trusted friends?
Action:
Commit to accountability. If you have a trusted friend or mentor in mind, make a plan for when you will talk to them about this matter- then do it!
Commit to praying regularly for the fruit of self-control. You could even try a 7 day challenge!
Prayer:
Thank God for giving you, His Spirit. Ask Him to help you abide in Him so that fruit can be produced in you! Also, ask God to provide someone who could hold you accountable and for discernment to know when and how to share your burdens.
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