Like Goldilocks, we are people who live with ideals in our minds. We know how hot we like our showers and coffee, the number of hours of sleep we most prefer, and how toasty we like our toast. Typically, these types of everyday ideals don’t get us into trouble. But what about the ones that do? You know, the ideals that come out in “too” form- like these:
“I’m too loud.” “I’m too quiet.” “I’m too much to handle.” “I’m too boring.” “I’m too weak.” “I’m too needy.” “I’m too impulsive.” “I’m too…fill in the blank.”
Because of a perceived ideal we think we haven’t attained, we often scrutinize our personalities, abilities, and of course, physical appearances. Like a mental ping pong match we go back and forth in our minds, examining all the evidence for and against our “too.” In short, we wrestle. Sometimes this wrestling brings to light areas of our life that are sinful and in need of sanctification (see points #1 and #2 below). Other times, we wrestle with areas of our personalities/abilities that aren’t reflective of a sin issue (see points #3 and #4) but wish we could change.
While the goal of this post is not to ensure you never engage in another wrestling match, it is the goal that your wrestling will be more fruitful. Let’s consider these 4 points the next time we step into the ring:
- Acknowledge that some amount of wrestling is good! Pride and vanity tell us we’re completely fine the way we are- that there’s no reason we should change. But to have no degree of self-reflection (and to not welcome helpful feedback from others) is foolishness. God’s word tells us this very thing: “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid” (Proverbs 12:1). The prayer of David in Psalm 139 also demonstrates the necessity of seeing our sin: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24).
The takeaway: Let’s humble ourselves before the Lord and acknowledge that we are still in need of sanctification. We can ask Him to show us where we’re in error and sin; and then ask Him to grow us so that we might look more like His Son.
- While self-reflection and accepting correction is necessary for maturity and growth, continuously beating ourselves up benefits no one. Sometimes we have a tendency to rehash our sin, to ruminate on all that we’ve done wrong. But remember: the conviction of the Spirit is meant to lead us to repentance- not condemnation! Moreover, conviction will always be paired with hope because it points us to the mercy and grace of our Savior. It shifts our focus to Him and off of ourselves. On the other hand, condemnation will always be paired with despair because it keeps us focused on ourselves and our sin, and not on God. In other words, we can acknowledge our sin and repent (that is, to change our minds and turn from our sin) and then…move on!
The takeaway: There is no room in the Christian faith for self-condemnation because in Christ, we are not condemned! (Romans 8:1). While we will experience sorrow for our sin, we’re not meant to stay there! Instead, we must continuously remind ourselves of the good news of the Gospel: that we are forgiven in Christ and loved by the Father. He has thrown our sin as far as the east is from the west- and He has work for us to do…
- God uses us- especially in our weaknesses. While we know this is true, we don’t particularly like it! It better suits our flesh to be used in our gifts and strengths. And yet, we know. We know how God used Moses and his ineloquent speech to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and how He used uneducated fishermen to spread the Good News. But that doesn’t stop us from falsely believing that He can’t use us because of our “too.”
Our problem, I think, is two-fold: 1) We see our deficits with our eyes rather than the Lord’s; we see the impossible, forgetting that with God all things are possible (Luke 1:37). And 2) We forget that our weaknesses are meant to magnify His strength. 1 Corinthians 1:27 tells us that God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, that God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong- all so that nobody may boast in the presence of God.
The takeaway: In short, our “toos” aren’t as powerful as we think they are! Our God is way more powerful and way more creative than any “too” could ever be. So let’s surrender our weaknesses to the Lord, asking Him to use these to the praise of His glory. As the Apostle Paul said, may we boast all the more in our weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on us (2 Corinthians 12:9).
- God uses all kinds of people for His glory. The fact that God loves variety can be seen in all of His creation- just look at the amazing variety of trees, plants, animals, and geography! And of course, He created all kinds of people with all kinds of personalities, interests, and abilities. Think of it: He used unassuming, meek Gideon to defeat Israel’s enemies and He used outspoken, hasty Peter to spread the gospel. He used a weeping prophet in a pit and a wild, camel-hair wearing prophet in the wilderness. And He uses us, too.
The diversity that fills the body of Christ is precisely what makes it beautiful. Take a moment to think about your brothers and sisters in Christ. Think about how their various gifts and personalities have ministered to you. If this is true of others, how can it not be true for you and me? Perhaps we fail to consider that our “too” might be just what someone else needs.
The takeaway: God’s use of variety is such a relief to our souls! We can rest knowing that God has designed us purposefully and intentionally to bless others. Let’s take time to thank Him for how He has created us and ask Him to use our “too” in a mighty way.
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