Lesson #1: What’s the big deal about gossip?
If you ask the average American whether or not they’re a good person, most would say yes. They would say they’re good because they try to be kind to others. Or, because they’ve never robbed a bank or murdered anyone. All good things, of course! However, do you know there is another sin God equally detests? In fact, it’s repeatedly listed among sins like murder and hatred. Since you’re taking the time to read this series, you can probably guess the sin I’m talking about is gossip!
Ohhhh gossip. It’s such a temptation! Why is it so difficult to refrain from talking about other people’s lives?! Or from listening to other people talk about others’ lives?! It’s just so hard. We want to be in the know. And when we hear something spicy, our sinful natures want to pass that info right along to other listening ears.
Because women are relationally oriented, gossip is a sin we’re easily drawn to. We might even convince ourselves that gossip really isn’t that big of a deal. After all, it can seem so innocent- it’s just a conversation among friends, right? But as women who follow Christ, we know this kind of talk should have no place in our lives. Join me now as we go to God’s word to learn more about what He has to say about this sin.
Let’s start with Proverbs 18:21: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Just think: our words have the power of life and death! That’s a pretty heavy responsibility! But what does it mean that those who love it will eat its fruits? The New Living Translation puts it like this: “Those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” There’s just no getting around it- our words have the potential to both positively and negatively affect others, as well as ourselves.
God’s Word also shows us that not gossiping has been a commandment from the beginning. Exodus 23:1 says, “You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness.” This theme is found throughout the New Testament as well. In the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Romans, he lists gossip among sins such as envy, murder, and being a hater of God (Romans 1:29-32). In his letter to the church at Corinth, Paul writes about his fear of finding the believers practicing sins such as quarreling, jealousy, hostility, and gossip (2 Corinthians 2:20). Finally, James, the brother of Jesus, wrote, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26). God’s Word is crystal clear that He hates gossip and He commands us to have no part of it!
At this point you might think to yourself, Ok, Nicole, I get it- God doesn’t like gossip. But why? What’s so bad about it? Let’s check out 2 reasons: betrayal and separation.
Proverbs 11:13 says, “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.” We all know this is true because we’ve all experienced it! When a trusted friend reveals our secret or talks bad about us in some way, we feel anger, hurt, disappointment, and perhaps even embarrassment. But most of all, we lose trust in our friend. Why? Because gossip is a betrayal and it damages relationships. And that is the opposite of what God wants for us! He wants us to have strong, God-centered relationships that reflect His character and who He is! And who He is is trustworthy and faithful. Therefore, God has called us to be faithful friends- not friends who betray the people who trust them.
This leads us to our second reason: separation. Proverbs 16:28 says, “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.” A whisperer. What an accurate description of someone who spreads gossip! But take a look at the effect mentioned in this verse: the separation of close friends. Again, gossip distances friends. But it also can have a ripple effect in that it creates division and separation among others as well. In other words, it stirs up drama and chaos- making an already challenging teenage life even harder.
Now that we know God’s truth about the power of our words and the devastating effects of gossip, we have to ask ourselves, Now what? For help answering that question, check out the RAP section below.
Reflection:
What stood out to you in the verses discussed above?
How did the Scripture change/challenge your thinking about gossip?
Action:
What action(s) are you prepared to take to exit gossip-centered conversations?
Write out one of the above verses on a notecard. Place it somewhere you can see it regularly!
Prayer:
If you’ve struggled with gossip, confess this to God. Ask Him to convict you of this sin and to help you turn from it. Pray that you will begin to feel the same way God does about gossip! Ask Him to help you use your words to give life to others.
*If you would like the entire 5 part series, email me and I will send you the FREE PDF!
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