Welcome Home: Marriage Sets the Tone

If you haven’t read this series’ previous post, Choosing our Firm Foundation,  (https://nicolebyrum.com/2022/02/03/welcome-home-choosing-our-firm-foundation/) I encourage you to pause this reading and click on over there.  With Christ and the Gospel as the foundation of our homes, we turn our attention to the next building block placed upon that foundation: marriage.  It is the marriage relationship that sets the tone for the entire household and is the key to creating a home culture of emotional safety and joy. 

But before we dive into marriage, let’s take a minute to define “emotional safety” and why it matters.  Think of emotional safety as the comfort and security experienced in a trusted relationship.  In this relationship you feel safe from attack and ridicule and free to hold open dialogue where truth is spoken in love.  This emotional safety feels like a sigh of relief because hiding yourself is not necessary.  Such a dynamic allows for both collaboration and connection within the relationship as well as for personal growth.  

These kinds of relationships are what is needed in our homes today and why I named this series, “Welcome Home.”  For ourselves, our spouses, and our children, home should be the place where emotional safety abounds.  Furthermore, the home should be a safe haven, a place of reprieve from the stress and demands of daily life.  Coming home should be the best part of our days.  Regarding this idea in marriage Martin Luther once said,  “Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” 

The question then becomes, how does marriage set this tone?  Answer: It all begins with attitude- the attitude of Christ.  As Philippians 2:5-8 says, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross!”  

Humility and servanthood.  These are not exactly popular terms with our fallen nature nor the lens through which we like to view marriage!  In a culture dominated by the beliefs that love is a romantic emotion and that relational happiness is based on what someone offers us, we must frequently remind ourselves of the biblical command to love one another through humble self-sacrifice.  

If there’s one picture that serves as a convicting reminder of this in my own life, it’s the picture of me washing my husband’s feet during our wedding ceremony.  (We chose to include a foot washing as a way to symbolize the mutual servant relationship of marriage.)  I’m thankful for that decision and picture because all these years later servanthood has proven to be an area of weakness and constant refinement in my life.  I willingly admit that my husband is a far better servant than I am!  But there is no escaping it- if Jesus, the King of the universe, humbled himself to death on a cross after washing his disciples’ feet, how much more should we exhibit humble servanthood in marriage? 

The idea of loving one another through humble service is again made known in Ephesians 5.  Women are called to submit to their husbands and husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church.  And how did Christ love the church?  He died for her.  Husbands therefore are called to love their wives in this same self-sacrificial way.  The chapter concludes with these words: Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (v.33).  This is to be the attitude of marriage.   

How then does a humble, servant-minded attitude foster emotional safety?  I think in this way:  True humility is non-threatening and by virtue invites security and trust into the relationship; within this trust defenses are lowered and regarded as unnecessary.  Such humility gives rise to security and comfort.  Finally, self-sacrificing service communicates authentic love and is the ultimate way by which we know someone is “for us.” 

As I’m typing these words I am well aware that this servant-love is a tall order.  In our own strength such a love is impossible.  Yet, through Christ, our firm foundation, it becomes possible to love in this way.  As we remain steadfast in the word and prayer, daily preaching the gospel to ourselves, we will be transformed by his grace becoming more like him in our attitude.  Once again, it is through the attitude of humble servanthood that our marriages are strengthened and emotional safety is established.  With this attitude our homes become safe havens and Martin Luther’s quote becomes a reality.

In closing today’s post, let us consider two practical applications:

  1. Seek out ways to serve your spouse.  I promise, finding opportunities will not be difficult because they are endless!  And if you truly are unsure of how you can serve them, ask!  Bottom line: be intentional about serving- without concern to your own convenience.  
  2.  A humble attitude does not come naturally.  Regularly check the thoughts/attitudes of your heart.  Repent as necessary from a prideful or haughty attitude and ask God to give you a spirit of humility.  

Loving Others Through Prayer

A few weeks ago I read the book of Colossians three times within the span of nine days.  It was pretty amazing!  This book has quickly become one of my favorites, and if you haven’t read this theologically rich and hope-filled book, I encourage you to do so immediately!  Since Colossians has four chapters I read one chapter per day for four days and then repeated this process over the next four days.  On the ninth day I read the entire book in one sitting.  It was interesting how each time I read through the chapters something new grabbed my attention.  One of those things was the name, Epaphras.  

I hadn’t really noticed Epaphras in the opening chapter but he caught my attention in the fourth.  However, on my final read through I saw it- he was there in the first chapter as well!  Although not a lot was written about him, what was written was pretty incredible.  And it got me thinking, This is the kind of friend I want to be.  This is how I want to pray for the people I love.  

So who was Epaphras?  He was the founder of the church at Colossae and a fellow prisioner with Paul (Philemon 23).  When Paul wrote his letter to the church at Colossae (Colossians) he described Epaphras as a fellow servant and faithful minister of Christ on the church’s behalf (Colossians 1:7-8).  Again at the conclusion of his letter, Paul wrote, “Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God.  For I bear him witness that he has worked hard for you and for those in Laodicea and in Hierapolis” (Colossians 4:12-13). 

Always struggling on your behalf in his prayers.  What an incredible description of the way believers can love and minister to one another.  And look at the depth which Epaphras prayed: that his brothers and sisters in Christ would be mature and fully assured in the will of God.  Is there anything better for which we could pray?     

In chapter one Paul wrote of the way in which he and Epaphras prayed together for the church body- and let me tell you, it both convicted and challenged me.  While I pray daily for various friends and family members, I can’t say I’ve ever prayed for them quite like these two men: 

“And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy” (Colossians 1:9-11).   

What a beautiful and deep way to pray for those we love.  Truly, spending time in prayer on one another’s behalf is one of the most loving things we can do for our friends, family, and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  By all means, let’s continue to pray for one another regarding recovery from sickness, job decisions, and all the daily stressors and struggles we encounter.  We are called to share one another’s burdens!  But let’s not forget to pray for one another’s spiritual growth as well.  Let’s love each other well by praying for one another according to the example given us by Paul and Epaphras.  

May we pray for our brothers and sisters in this way: 

-To be filled with the knowledge of His will

-For spiritual wisdom and understanding 

-That they may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, pleasing to Him

-That they may bear fruit in good works

-For increase in their knowledge of God

-That they will be strengthened with all power according to God’s glorious might

-For all endurance, patience, and joy

Welcome Home: Choosing our Firm Foundation

 After 40 years of wilderness wandering the Israelites had finally entered the Promised Land.  Before his death- and before he dismissed them to their inheritance- Joshua gathered the people and reminded them of their great history.  He spoke of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the crossing of the Red Sea and of Jericho.  He then exclaimed, “But if it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served, which were beyond the Euphrates River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD,” (Joshua 24:15).  The line was drawn, and Joshua boldly declared his choice.  Like Nehemiah building the wall, he was resolute in his decision.  

And so for us.  The foundation of cultivating a biblical home culture of emotional safety and joy starts with a decision to serve the Lord.  

While I’m guessing most of us aren’t trying to decide between serving God and serving the gods described in the above verse, I suspect our choice instead comes down to a matter of intentionality.  Are we going to intentionally follow Jesus, building our homes upon the rock? (Matthew 7:24)  Or, are we going to build our homes on the sands of complacency and worldly values?  The choice is ours.  But of one thing I am certain: the latter happens with ease yet results in despair; the former takes consistent intention but results in great reward.    

Once the choice has been made to build the foundation of our home on Christ, the question then becomes, “How do we do this?”  Let’s examine 4 practical ways:

  1.  Preach the gospel daily.   Choosing to serve the Lord starts with intentionally maintaining a gospel focus.  As I’ll discuss in upcoming posts, everything flows from this!  As Martin Luther famously said, “We must preach the gospel to ourselves every day.”  Reminding ourselves and our family of the truth of God’s love for us in Christ is vital to both our individual and family lives.  Why?  Because when we reflect on Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection we are filled with hope and joy knowing that we are sinners saved by grace, wholly and dearly loved. In this reflection we are simultaneously humbled yet filled with confidence.  But most importantly, our affections for our Heavenly Father are raised and He receives glory.    

Whether through time in prayer, listening to worship hymns/songs focused on the gospel, or by reading Scripture, I encourage you (and myself!) to take a few moments of the day to reflect on the gospel message.  Some of my favorite passages of Scripture for reflection are: Romans 5:1-11, Romans 6:5-14, Romans 8, Galatians 3:26-4:7, Ephesians 1:3-14; 2:1-10, and Colossians 1:21-23; 2:9-15.     

  1. Abide in the word.  To abide in Christ means to remain, or to stay, continuously in him.  One way we do this is through time in Scripture.  As Jesus said in John 8:31, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples.”  To be sure, setting aside time each day to read God’s word is a discipline.  But making Bible reading a daily habit is one of the best ways we can know our triune God.  Reading one chapter a day is a great way to start.  (I recommend picking one book of the Bible to read through at a time.)  Keep a notebook to jot down any observations or questions you have about what you are reading.  

While individual reading is of course great, this can also be done with your spouse or as a family.  Even if you don’t read together, feel free to share with your spouse and/or family what you’ve read and learned from your time in the word.    

  1.  Obedience to the word.  We build our homes on Christ not only by reading his word but by obedience to it.  1 John 2:6 says, “Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”  True abiding results in being a doer of the word and not merely a hearer (James 1:22).  Although future posts will discuss obedience in greater detail, for the time being let this be said: it is the responsibility of the parents to lead by example for the children- and it is the responsibility of the husband to lead by example within the marriage.  

As you read through Scripture, pick one command/principle to intentionally focus on obeying.  Then, clue in your spouse/family so they can lovingly hold you accountable and pray for you.  Which leads to my final point…         

  1.  Prayer.  1 Thessalonians 5:17 instructs us to pray without ceasing and Romans 8:6 tells us that the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.  Prayer is vital.  It is through prayer we invite the Holy Spirit to govern our minds and lead us in all wisdom and discernment.  Without a doubt, prayer is part of building our homes on Christ!  By continuously staying in prayer we strengthen ourselves, our families, and bring joy to our Father.  

The great thing about prayer is that it can be done anytime, anywhere.  I encourage you to pick one time per day to consistently be in prayer.  For me this is when my head is on the pillow- both as I’m going to sleep and when I turn off my alarm in the morning.  I also consistently use the times I do dishes and commute to work for time in prayer.  Again, whether it’s on your own or with your spouse and/or family, the importance of prayer cannot be overstated!    

As I conclude this post I challenge us all to choose this day whom we will serve, counting both the cost and reward of choosing Christ.   I pray we find the reward far greater than the cost, that we may choose a life committed to building our homes on Christ our firm foundation; that we may walk with him, being rooted and built up in him and established in the faith (Colossians 2:6-7).    

Welcome Home: Intro

I love those passages in Scripture that leave me thinking, Man…what a bold, gusty, down right studly move!  Whether it’s Shadrach, Mechach and Abednego refusing to bow when the music played, Jesus making a whip to drive out the money-changers, or Paul continuing to preach the gospel despite receiving beating after beating, these are the accounts that challenge me to intentionally live out my Christian faith.  

One of my favorite such stories is found in Nehemiah 3-4.  In these chapters the prophet Nehemiah has returned with his men to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.  Even in the midst of potential enemy opposition, they kept right on working…a tool in one hand and a weapon in the other (Nehemiah 4:16-18).  Bold indeed!  Nothing was going to keep them from completing their mission, including the threat of death.  I imagine if they had a theme song it would be akin to Tom Petty’s Stand My Ground.   

I bring this 2,400 year old story up now as a representative picture of this blog series.  Let me explain.  The story of Nehemiah’s wall-building has always stood in my mind as an example to faithfully and obediently live out the mission given to us by God.  And for those who are married and/or have children, His word has much to say about the mission of marriage and parenting!  To that end I wanted to write a series focused on building a home culture of emotional safety and joy.  Specifically, we’ll explore what this culture looks like in terms of attitudes, values, and language.  The first half of this series will focus on building this culture within marriage while the second half will focus on this building in the realm of parenting.  

Like Nehemiah and crew, it is my prayer we be dedicated to the mission of building up our marriages and families, no matter the cost.  Now, lest we be overwhelmed by the magnitude of this mission, let’s not forget this one truth:  we don’t have to do this alone.  Just as God was with Nehemiah protecting him and giving him the strength, tenacity, and perseverance needed to get the job done, so He will be with us.  In a culture that is so diametrically opposed to the biblical model of family, there is no better time to fiercely build our homes than now.  I ask that you join me in the “Welcome Home” series as we study God’s word concerning family living.  Let’s pick up our tools- and our weapons- that we may build and defend what God has so graciously entrusted to us.          

The Source of Satisfaction

As the excitement of Christmas fades and the New Year dawns, our attention is turned toward the open chapter before us.  We plan, set goals, and dream about the potential “better” of the months to come.  Yet, despite our hopes and good intentions the truth is we have no idea what lies ahead.  Perhaps this year will be replete with the fulfillment of desires and great accomplishments; a year marked with the creation of joyful memories.  However, it’s also possible this year will bring challenges we never imagined- times of disappointment, sorrow, and loss.  Most likely, we will experience a mixture of both blessing and suffering in the coming year.

In light of this reality, what then should be our prayer? From where can we derive comfort and satisfaction, regardless of the mixture we are given?  

Psalm 90, a prayer of Moses, instructs us how to pray and reveals the means by which we are satisfied.  He begins by reminding us that the Lord has been our dwelling place throughout all generations- that He has been God from everlasting to everlasting.  We are then reminded of the Lord’s sovereignty, that He is the giver of life and of wrath; and of His love, that He is the seer of our sin, yet is the one who has compassion on His servants.   With this background, Moses unveils in verse 14 what his heart- and ours- truly needs in all of life’s circumstances.  His prayer was this: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.”  

It was this same steadfast love of the Lord that was the source of the prophet Jeremiah’s hope in the midst of a dismal reality.  With the sight of a destroyed Jerusalem all around him he wrote: “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:21-23).  Recalling the past faithfulness, sovereignty, and grace of God, we, like Moses and Jeremiah, can place our confidence and hope in the One who is worthy of our trust.  

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love.  May that be our prayer this year regardless of the season, whether in blessing or in suffering.  For we know that when we cry out- when we humbly ask for such a satisfaction- we will be filled.  And when doubts arise concerning this promise, we can turn our eyes to the very next psalm in which Moses recorded these words of the Lord: “When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.  With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation” (Psalm 91:15-16).  Being satisfied with His love we can rejoice and be glad all of our days.  

The Word Became Flesh: A Christmas Poem 

(John 1:1-14)

Before time began he was.  

Eternal, uncreated, only begotten son of God, Jesus Christ, our Lord.  From everlasting to everlasting he has been and will be.  Creator of all, all was made by him and for him.  

Seated on his throne, he is the forever King.  Eternal majesty and glory were his before the mountains were brought forth.

And yet, this ancient of days became flesh.  

Into the world he came, the true light through whom sinners are saved.  Light and life for all who believe.   

With sinners he dwelt that we might behold him, to see his glory come.  Full of grace and truth, it is from him we have received grace upon grace.  

And we remember:  

The Word of God appearing with divinity unceasing, as a babe he came to us.  Humble, average, ordinary, with only the fanfare of the lowly.

Before him a wooden cross, nails and blood- the plan of covering whereby wretches become children of God.  Born of God, not of man, are those whom he calls his own.  

For this he came and was willingly made flesh: that all of this might be so.  

Joyful hearts praise God the Father who has made him known, the one who forever reigns.  With gladness crown him with many crowns, the King who became flesh and dwelt among us, the Christ, our Emmanuel.           

Rich in Deed

This past June marked four years since the advent of my reading addiction.  It began innocently enough with the goal of reading one book per month but this craze has now culminated to a point of madness.  Case in point: I frequently find myself reading 3 (sometimes more!) books at a time and endlessly adding to my carts on both Amazon and Ebay.  Oh yes, and I also frequent our local library.  I seriously did not see this spiral coming- nor did I foresee the way this would radically change my life.  

While I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all the classic fiction and biographies I’ve read over the last 48 plus months, it has been the deep delve into theological books that has been transformative- but not in the way you might think.  While yes, those books have been incredible instruments of growth, the real change that has transpired from these readings is the desire to study Scripture more in depth.  Without question, my love of the Word has truly been a sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit.  

Yet, I know that although knowledge moves my heart and affections towards my heavenly Father and Savior, it is insufficient if my actions do not reflect what I have learned.  For as James 1:22 so convictingly reminds, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”  I can only pray the fruit of the Spirit has been increasingly evident in my life, if even in the smallest measure.  

The truth is, as followers of Christ we all have a command to love in light of the love that has been lavished upon us; to forgive as we have been forgiven, and to be rich in deed as we have so abundantly received the mercies of God.  Consider the words of the Apostle Paul as he wrote to Timothy: “They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share” (1 Timothy 6:18).  In light of all the riches that we have in Christ, how could we not be rich towards others? 

Perhaps you, like myself, are currently completing a quick mental inventory of what these deeds include.  To help us out I quickly referenced the Greek term “good works.” “Kalos ergon” translates to “beautiful (or valuable/virtuous) action or task.”  In light of this definition, I think the list is infinite!  As I evaluate my own life, it seems the challenge lies in both my attentiveness to the opportunities around me and with intentionally seeking out ways to be generous with others. 

In order that we might further consider how to be rich in deed, let’s consider the following reflective questions:

Who in my everyday life could use help/support?  What are some ways I could meet these needs? 

Who in my life could benefit from my financial generosity?  (Or what organization?)

Who could currently benefit from my time and attention?  

For whom could I be in prayer?  

What is an everyday life situation that I have overlooked as an opportunity to be rich in deed?  How could I use this situation to bless others? 

Who have I not spoken to for a while that I could reach out to?   

May we pray diligently to obediently walk in the good deeds that Christ has prepared in advance for us to do.  Let us not love in word only but in deed and in truth.  

Rich in Christ

Honest writer moment here: Aside from the typed title, I’ve been staring at this otherwise blank screen for the better part of an hour trying to decide where and how to start.  I thought about leading with the story of how I saved my hard earned money to buy a $13 Mr. Potato Head when I was 7 years old.  In my mind I would then connect that experience to other times in my life when I felt temporarily rich and how riches in this world are just that…temporary.  But then so many verses and song lyrics came to mind about all that we have in our Savior that I just couldn’t make sense of where to start.  

So, I’m starting with this: “Blessed be the God and Father through the Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 1:3).   To the glory of God, we are infinitely rich in Christ.  The Apostle Paul continuously made this known in his letters to the churches at Ephesus and Philippi.  Remarkably, he penned these words while he himself was in prison.  I can only imagine what it was like for him in that dark, dingy cell- how uncomfortable and lonely it must have been.  Yet, it was in that place he wrote of the secret of being content in every situation: he could do all things through Christ who strengthened him.  A few verses later Paul confidently encouraged his brothers and sisters in Christ, stating, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).  

I praise God that He revealed these truths to Paul because these truths have not changed.  He will supply every need through the riches of Christ.  There is nothing that we can experience that is outside the scope of his knowledge and power.  He is just as aware of our physical needs as he is our spiritual and emotional needs.  Too many times I have doubted this; yet he has never failed to take care of me.  I have always had food, clothing, and shelter.  He has been a friend in loneliness, a comforter in grief, and my source of peace during anxious times.  Just as his riches in glory are unlimited, so are the graces he gives.  He indeed is our all in all.  As C.S. Lewis once said, “Look for Christ, and you will find him, and with him everything else thrown in.”  

Not only does Christ supply all of our needs here on earth, but through him we have an unfathomable inheritance.  Through the letter writing of Paul we again learn more of the truth revealed to him about our life in Christ: “But God, being rich in mercy…made us alive together with Christ…and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:4-7).  No wonder Paul could not contain his joy, even in the pit of prison!  Peter spoke of this glorious truth as well when he wrote, “By His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, reserved in heaven for you” (1 Peter 1:3b-4).  This rich inheritance is only possible through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, through whom we have everything.  

Through his perfect life on this earth he has become our righteousness; for we have no righteousness of our own but only that which we possess in him.  Through his death he became our substitutionary sacrifice, having bore the wrath of God we so mightily deserve.  Through his resurrection he became our victory, raising us to new life with the promise of eternity with him.  We indeed are abundantly rich through the power of the gospel!

As I conclude this writing, I find myself in the same predicament as described in the beginning of this post.  So I will only end with this: 

I praise God that we are permanently rich in Christ; for just as we have him now, so we will have him forever in the place where no eye has seen, nor ear has heard, nor heart of man has imagined; the place prepared for us where we will sing medleys of these riches for all eternity…

Hallelujah, all I have is Christ; Hallelujah, Jesus is my life;

Riches I heed not nor man’s empty praise, thou mine inheritance now 

and always, thou and thou only first in my heart, high king of heaven my 

Treasure thou art;

Hallelujah, all I have is Christ; Hallelujah, Jesus is my life.

Dwelling Richly

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”  Colossians 3:16

Sometimes I just try to let the first part of that verse sink in: Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.  Doesn’t that sound so lovely?  So refreshing and at the same time empowering?  I wanted to dive deeper, to learn more of what it means to dwell richly.  The following is what I have learned.  I pray it will bless and encourage all who read. 

Although it may seem backwards, my mind first focused on the word “dwell.”  I wanted to really consider the meaning of this word and found the Greek word used in this verse was “Enoikeo,” which means to live in or inhibit.  To put it this way, the word of Christ is to live in us, to inhabit us; to take up residence in our hearts and minds.  It is to be a part of us forever!   

And not only are we to allow the word of Christ to dwell in us, but to dwell richly.  This Greek word “Plousios,” means generously or abundantly.  The word of Christ is to live in us abundantly.  However, the only way this can happen is if we are in the word regularly, asking the Holy Spirit to press it into our hearts and minds.  Dear readers, I know this is not always our desire.  But please know that it is more than okay to ask God for the desire for His word.  Know that you can boldly ask Him to give you passion for the word of Christ and for the Spirit to give you understanding of what you read.  He will do it! 

Finally, I revisited the phrase “word of Christ” as this is the subject of what is to live within us generously.  Jesus himself is the Word and the entire written word is about him.  John 1:1 states, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He is the Truth and from Genesis to Revelation he is proclaimed.  In light of this it struck me that at the beginning of Colossians 3 Paul reminded us of the good news of the gospel- that we have been raised with Christ, hidden with Christ, and that Christ is our life!  The middle verses of the chapter call us then to put to death the things of the old self and to put on the things of the new self; to be renewed in the knowledge of our Creator.  This is the word of Christ which is to inhabit us abundantly!  It is a beautiful command with a beautiful result.    

The remainder of verse 16 tells us that the word of Christ dwelling richly results in teaching, admonishing in wisdom, and singing hymns with thanksgiving.  Because isn’t it true that what dwells in us comes out of us?  Whatever we put into our minds- what we see and read with our eyes, what we listen to with our ears- is what comes out of our mouths and is displayed in our actions.  This begs us to ask ourselves the following question: What am I allowing to inhabit me- the word, or the world?  As 1 John 2:15-17 makes clear, these are the two choices from which we chose.  

I pray that God will give us, His people, a great hunger and desire for Christ and his word.  May it be our greatest aim for the truth of the gospel to reign supremely in our hearts and minds so that all we say and do will be a reflection of what dwells in us so richly.  To the glory of God alone may it be so.

Rich Conversation

I’m going to be really honest:  I’m writing this post as a challenge to myself.  As an extroverted person, I love being around people and am always up for hanging out with my friends.  However, I’m not always great with initiating conversation, usually preferring that others lead.  When I do initiate, I tend to stick to the typical questions about work, kids, current happenings, and the like.  While there’s certainly nothing wrong with “catching up,” I’ve recently had an increasing desire to deepen my everyday conversations.  

As I was thinking through practical ways to change the dialogue, it occurred to me that the best starting point is Scripture.  After all, there is no better place to learn about rich speech than in God’s Word!  So what does the Bible say should characterize the nature of our conversations? Let’s take a look: 

Our speech should be edifying and gracious.  The King James version of Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”  The NIV and ESV  translate the word ‘edifying’ as  “building up.”  It’s important to note that edifying does not merely mean to give encouragement or praise (more on that in a moment) but to provide moral or intellectual instruction.  Our conversations should sharpen and challenge one another as a means of ministering grace.  As Colossians 4:6 says, our speech should “always be gracious and seasoned with salt.”  

Our speech should focus on thanksgiving and encouragement.  I daily think about the things I am thankful for in my life yet my thought to speech ratio in this category is easily 10:1.  But how wonderful it would be if we allowed thanksgiving to take center stage in our conversations on a frequent basis!  Ephesians 5:4 says, “ Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”   Along with thankfulness, we are to encourage one another in the roles and ministries God has given us so that we might strengthen one another’s faith.  Acts 14:21-22 records that as Paul and Barnabas travelled they strengthened the souls of their disciples and encouraged them to continue in their faith as they suffered for Christ.    

Our speech should focus on bearing burdens and prayer.  As brothers and sisters in Christ we can go to one another for comfort and wise counsel.  We don’t have to carry the heaviness of life alone.  Instead, we can be honest about our struggles and pray for one another.  This is one of the great gifts of the body of Christ!  Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”  Likewise, James 5:16a says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”   

Of course there is a time and place for “catch up” conversations- they are a necessary part of life!  But in light of the above points, here are some starter questions to enrich the conversations with your brothers and sisters in Christ: 

What is something you are learning about right now?  

What has God been teaching you? 

What have you been reading right now (book wise as well as Bible study wise)? 

What is something you have been thankful for lately?

How has God been answering your prayers?  

How are you using your gifts to serve God (and others) now? 

In what ways have you been challenged recently?  

How can I be praying for you?  

May we all intentionally seek and be blessed by these rich conversations.